Yes, I'm That Good.

I'm starting to believe men think I am stupid.

I logged into an old email address today, lo and behold I had an email from someone other than spam. It was also sent to me today, this morning. It was from a guy I hooked up with in 2007. Seriously dude? Like 4 years ago? So you never called me back and decided to wait your game out for 4 years?

However, let me just say, this guy is one of my best hook up stories, EVER. Only because of the fact that he was blind. Literally, blind. By legal standards he was blind, he could see, just not very good.

At first I was ashamed to tell my friends "Yeah, I fucked a blind guy" because then I feel like people could come back at me like "Oh ugly girl had to find a blind dude" first of all, I'm not ugly, I am very beautiful (and conceded apparently), secondly he could see somewhat, he just happened to have a seeing eye dog and couldn't drive okay!

However, the jokes and puns made whenever I recount this story over drinks is priceless. Walking sticks, brail, figure it out.

This guy blew me off, its the standard hook up and never call again guy. These were the days of myspace, and through some myspace stalking I found that he started hooking up with this older nasty looking woman, so I was out. However, I did like the kid, so it was sad for me, and I was pretty angry at being replaced by some disgusting cow.

Now for the email:

“How are you? Not sure if you remember me or not, but I was just cleaning out my gmail and thought I would say hi. I hope you are doing well! Hard to believe it's been since 2007 since I've gotten to see or talk to you!

Anyway, I work for the air force now, as a communications officer, I travel a good bit, but I'm mostly in san diego and new york city. My number is still the same if you'd ever want to talk/text...619-xxx-xxxx.

I really enjoyed spending time with you, and I'm sorry that we fell out of touch, I'm hoping we can fix that. I've really learned the importance of having people around me, and I've really been working hard to reconnect with old friends.

Hugs, and I hope we can talk soon!”

Really dude? I would like to think that I am just *that good* in bed that he thought of all the deets while going through his email, and was like "I gotta contact this girl, RIGHT THE FUCK NOW!" but this is what I really think...

Let me translate this email:

"Hey how are you, remember me? We fucked before, and it was awesome.

Thought I would say hi and see if you are easy or DTF, I can't believe I waited 4 years to try and reconnect with you.

Anyway, I travel a lot for work so I am not looking for anything more than a hook up/booty call, so if you want it, here is my number.

I really enjoyed your vagina, hope to be in it again soon, oh and here is a obligatory meaningless "sorry" for being an asshole and blowing you off. I hope it comes across like I cared enough for you to contact me again."

His booty call "feeler" email doesn't really knock down my sexual self esteem anyway, I know I'm good. I'm better than him, that was for sure, he could hold his own, but mostly because of the size factor.

A coincidently called me after I read this email, I told her about it, she said "Dude, if I were you, I would totally fuck him again, who can resist a big dick, and this won't increase your number, which to me is the best kind of hook up! Besides, your not sleeping with anyone else" She was really excited about it. Good thinking on her part, but I think its good that she is engaged, she so does miss her floozy days at times....

Just because I am not sleeping with anyone else doesn't mean there is a vacancy that needs to be filled in my vah-jay. There is just a vacancy. This guy knew me in what I like to call my "floozy days", I was pretty easy, or more like I fell for easy lines/lies. However, I'm all growns up now.

I’ve considered hooking up casually with guys I date, but I know that I am not that girl. I can't really handle the no strings attached hooking up, there are always strings on my side. Also, 1 in every 5 men carry the HPV virus, think of that the next time you want to hook up with some stranger at a bar ladies! It keeps me abstinent!

Besides, why would I forget that he blew me off to fool around with some older disgusting woman? Ew.

Well, I am glad that in my non-dating boring days I have gems like this to share. Keeps a little bit of drama in my life, Gossip Girl is on hiatus after all.