An Eviction of Sorts

After going through multiple scans, appointments, and an extremely painful biopsy with my new gynecologist, we finally got to the point of what to do about my heavy menstrual bleeding, debilitating cramping and fibroids. I was left with the options of an IUD, ablation, or hysterectomy. I wanted the hysterectomy. I had a laparoscopic total hysterectomy with bilat salpingectomy and a cystoscopy. I kept my ovaries. 

I will say for a "major surgery", which everyone kept reminding me that this was, my doctor did not seem concerned or they didn't make it out to be a big deal. I was more anxious leading up to it, and I will say, I felt a way about arriving to the hospital alone, dropped off by an Uber, and walking with the surgical nurse alone when the other people that arrived while I was waiting were all with someone. I know that this is a thing for people, but it did make me want to try and build more community around me. 

I'm a very private person, on type of that I'm extremely hyper independent, so it would be hard for me to rely on anyone. I was already uncomfortable with my best friend coming up the next day to take me home. 

Anyway, it was daunting to be in a cheapy gown on the pre-op unit by myself. I just kind of laid there and listened to the other people chatting. I was anxious, but not very scared, but I did keep telling myself I could back out, I could just go home and not deal with this. I actually wasn't scared about the surgery, I was fearful of the recovery. What's going to change? I won't be able to workout and keep my routines, what if I gain weight? What if something goes wrong, what if my internal stitches rip and I hemorrhage (this is still a concern 20 days later, apparently it takes something like 6 weeks to fully heal). 

However, then a burly dude with tatted forearms was pushing Versed and Gabapentin through my IV and wheeling me into the operating room, I was asked to shuffle over onto another table and it was so cold I shaking badly as the nurse put the mask over my face and then I woke up to a woman yelling "OH GOD IT HURTS SO BAD, IT HURTS, IT HURTS" on repeat and I was like omfg please die quietly. God, so rude. 

The post op nurse noticed I was awake and came over to ask how I was, as if I knew. I asked if I have said anything or have been yelling like that lady, and she said no, haven't said anything. I said good and went back to sleep. I vaguely remember being wheeled into my room, and from there I asked for my bag, took out my earplugs and sleep mask and only woke when the nurses came in to bring me meds. I sent off a few text messages, but that was all. Honestly, best two things I brought to the hospital. 

I had a catheter, so I literally didn't move until that evening when the nurse asked if I wanted to try walking, I said sure, why not. Walked down the hall while she held my very expensive purse of piss (sorry to be crass, it just sounded too good). Felt a bit light headed, but overall fine. When back to my room, back to sleep. I did have to be on oxygen for a while because my O2 levels kept dropping and the fucking alarm kept going off, I called the nurse and was like "can you turn this off" and she's like "no, you stop breathing, so it makes an alarm. I'll put you on oxygen". Okay, fine. 

I figured it was because I was so medicated, but whatevs. I was fine after a few hours. The next morning they removed the catheter, which was just uncomfortable, but not awful. Now, the first urination after, that is kind of uncomfortable, but if you've had a UTI, it's nothing. Although you do urinate bubbles, which was weird and gross. What was more annoying was having to get up every 30 minutes to use the bathroom because you have been given a fuckton of IV fluids and it has to work it's way through. I don't think I've been that hydrated for years honestly! 

I was able to get dressed by myself, brushed my teeth. My friend arrived with her newish baby and we chatted and waited for my doctor to discharge me. I took another walk, but walked down both hallways and back to my room. No problems. My doctor finally came around 11am and said that the surgery went really well, although my uterus "did not want to come out". Apparently there were fibrous lesions adhering itself like a spiderweb to other organs in my body. She didn't say I had endometriosis or any other diagnosis, but my organs were sent to pathology, so I would find out sooner or later. 

I forced myself to take it slow and easy and just rest without guilt for the first 2 weeks (I also had those two weeks off work). Mostly I was bored. That's a good thing. I walked around my house, the cats crowded me, I read, worked on some cross stitch projects, and watching movies. Mostly I was on TikTok though, I should look at my screen time, but it's probably atrocious during those weeks!

I've had my first post op (at 2 weeks) and everything is good. The external incisions are healing nicely, no infection or anything. I will have an internal exam at 6 weeks post op. I was cleared to start walking at the gym, nothing crazy, I walk at a slow to normal pace with no incline. Yesterday I also started some gentle stretching that I found from physical therapists online for post hysterectomy recovery. No issues, pain or really any negative feeling doing those. I also went slow and controlled. Even though I want to be more active, I am reinforcing the need to be gentle and take it easy overall. 

It's wild to think I won't have a period anymore, like what! I have heard that I could still experience some light bleeding from the cuff, but I haven't experienced anything like that, besides light spotting the day after surgery. I had a few days of sharp pinching at an incision, when I asked my doctor she said it was probably the internal stitches dissolving, and the nerve regrowing. It went away on it's own. 

The thing that's weird is now I don't have an organ there and your intestines kind of move to take up that space. Now when I have gas or any bowel issues, it feels like period cramps, so that's super fun 😑. Overall, I psyched myself over this surgery by reading other peoples stories in r/hysterectomy and causing unnecessary anxiety. But people rarely have anything positive to report when they want to "share their experience", so just something to keep in mind. 

Thanks for the well wishes that I've already received, everything is good and I'm doing well!