Be So Serious Right Now!!

Man, this is fucking ridiculous.The cheating allegations aside, this is cause/effect or maybe just the finale of where we are at regarding late stage capitalism??? IDK. I have been seeing reports of how suspicious it is that soooo many people voted democrat for their representatives, but the presidential vote was for trump? How is that when the majority of people vote straight down the ticket? I am tired of the rhetoric of "when they go low, we go high", fuck all of that. Could you please do something???? I mean, the "trying to fire "woke" generals" sounds a bit like history repeating itself if you ask me... and that's just one part of it!

Anyways, I have been researching for ladies beginner handgun classes, and I bit the bullet (har har) and signed up a few weeks and had the class earlier this month. It was pretty cool, and although nerve racking as this was the first time as an adult I have shot a gun, and I think I've only done it once before when I was like 12 or 13 with my step dad. I did really well!

I wanted to shoot compacts, as I plan to get my license to carry, but after holding some of the rentals I ended up shooting a Sig P365 (not sure of the model or trim on that) and a Springfield Echelon, which were pretty big compared to the smaller compacts. I preferred the Springfield overall, and only shot like 10 rounds on the Sig. I haven't purchased anything yet, but would like to rent a few more to get the feel before I make a buy. 

I went shooting a second time and rented a Smith & Wesson M&P3 Shield, Daniel Defense H9, and Glock 19X. I really like the Glock. I am not sure it's really the best choice for conceal carry, but I am also not planning on carrying on my person (like tucked in holster), but probably a crossbody bag or my purse (if I do carry at all). So, IDK if that will be my first purchase, but so far it's been my favorite to shoot. 

The industry and market of guns is wild, and I mean that as there's a lot to it that I have never concerned myself with. Truly, guns have just been this vague concept to me, as I never thought I would own one, but there has been some suspicious people outside my townhouse every so often, and this is Texas, wasn't I supposed to be given a gun when I drove across the state line? I mean come on! 

No, but seriously, this isn't only about the election results, but I am a bit freaked out about what I've come across on my doorbell camera on occasion. One time there was just a woman standing on the sidewalk to my porch, staring at my door. My neighbor told me about her neighbors experience with this, as she must have came by my porch before going to the last unit and repeatedly ringing the bell, then hiding behind one of the bushes around his porch for a few hours. She did look and move like she was on drugs or very drunk. 

Also watching people on social media evacuate from Helene and Milton. Things get crazy in those kind of situations, and I couldn't imagine not having something to protect myself with, just in case. 

I did recently reactivate my Tinder to look for men into guns and could give me pointers, and I've got a full inbox, so... Hey, bullets are expensive, why not have range dates? I can actually learn something from men instead of being annoyed with them. This is a win-win for both parties, think about it. Men get to explain all things guns to me, I get to ask all my annoying questions and stress them out, then I also feel like this may trigger a bit of the protective aspect for men, but either way, they get to feel like an expert, which maybe they are, but I think when someone gets to teach you something, especially to a captive audience, it is a positive. There's just something to it, I don't know what it is, but I've noticed that men I've dated and they taught me about something and I asked more in depth questions, we've dated longer and had better communication. 

However, all of this has made me miss Steve. Like, to the point where I've considered reaching out since he is an instructor, and we talked about him taking me shooting when we were dating, but I ended things prior to it happening. I mean, on our first date we went to a gun show FFS. And it isn't just guns either. It was just a catalyst to thinking about him, and then I just missed him being part of my day. 

I think he was the best match that I've dated this year, or in a lot of years. I just have to remember that he wasn't perfect, as brains will want to show the highlight reel of everything good instead of including the things that were frustrating to me. 

There will be no contact, just like everything else, I am fully capable of doing things myself.