First Date #54

My first date off Tinder!

Eh, god, not that exciting. I feel like dating has become more intense as I've gotten older. It's like okay, where's the mythical "one" already.  But, I try to go with the flow, I'm the "one" for me, and that might be all I end up getting out of this life.  Wow, depressing.  ANYWAYS.

This kind of happened quickly, like we started messaging on Friday, exchanged numbers, he asked me to dinner Sunday, but I couldn't, I suggested Monday, and it was planned.  We went to a Mediterranean restaurant, I do love Middle Eastern/Mediterranean food, so that was a plus. 

Anyway, he is probably the oldest guy I've dated, clocking in at 41. I am 36 mind you.  He is very straight forward and honest, and really, it's refreshing to have someone ask me what I'm looking for or want, and have him tell me what he is looking for/wants.  He seems confident in the person he is and confident in what he is looking for and man that is nice!  ESPECIALLY coming off of Miles and his indecisiveness and back and forth mentality.

I am also digging his 6'4 height, a lot.  I do like this one, however, I am not like super attracted to him, but I am also not not attracted to him.  I am at a comfortable medium where I am attracted enough to explore where things go. 

The Mark Manson thing has been going through my mind, the whole "if it's not a FUCK YES it's a no" blurb that he wrote.  At the same time, that's not really how I operate.  I also don't think a first date alone can give me a Fuck Yes on someone anyway. 

Anyway, after dinner he suggested getting ice cream, but I declined.  Not because I didn't want to spend more time with him, but because I was in a lot of pain and I was really tired.  I asked if we could do another date and get ice cream then, he was okay with that.  However, he kept trying to extend the date, like wanted to go for a walk somewhere, and I just had to tell him that I want to go home. 

Maybe I am just old, but fuck, I just like being at home, and I also don't eat a lot of sweets during the week.  Generally I don't eat any sugar during the week.  Plus I was hurting and really, I'm not 29 anymore, I'm not interested in 4-5 hour dates, and it was almost 9PM.  When I'm in a lot of pain like I was, I am not fun or interesting to be around. I am mostly vegetative.  I don't like to explain that because, I don't know, maybe shame or something.  Like, I'm not old, why is my pain so intense?  I wouldn't know, the doctors I've seen can go fuck themselves because they can't give me a clear answer either.  But that's another topic for another time.

Anyway, he walked me to my car, we both talked about seeing each other again and we hugged.  His hands lingered on my sides and I got that tingly good feeling... and after not being touched for as long as I have, it felt so good.  It felt good enough that I wanted to grab his beard and pull his face down to mine for a kiss, but I didn't.  I gave him the opening to kiss me, but he didn't take it.  I was kind of disappointed, but as I drove home, I had to remind myself not to jump into anything. 

I haven't had physical intimate touch since Miles and I broke up, before that, as our sex life had pretty much died, pre break up.  This guys touch felt electric because I haven't been touched, don't forget it. 

I got home and washed off my makeup.  I was texting my "dating safety friends" and we were gossiping about the date when he texted me.

I'm glad we got a chance to meet, and I would like to see you again

I told him that I felt the same, we didn't make concrete plans, but I suggested sometime later this week.  I hope this was a good find, but time will tell.

The kicker to all this is that Miles is back, and also asked where I was.  I told him.

TBC