If I Was A Rich Girl

Rich people are different from the rest of us.  Funny because I usually hear that depicted in television or movies and it's usually rich parents saying that to their spoiled rich children, that "we" are different from the rest of "them".  Different and better than the peasants below us that we can see from our private jets and balcony mansions that cut our rich green grass and wax our shiny German autos.  *laughs in rich*

But now, I believe it because I've seen it.  I've stayed in their mini-mansion and celebrated holidays where there were cashiers checks in the Christmas stockings and countless presents under the tree.  I watched Miles' parents spoil each of their children, and also their partners (myself included), while getting back very little.  It makes me really sad. 

Miles' mom had a hip replacement last week.  She is recovering okay-ish from what Miles told me after her conversation with him.  However, lots of pain, and is unable to stand on her own, and had a lot of urine retention.  I asked if he is worried about her, he said not really.  I asked if one of his sisters is there with her, and he said no, they are busy. 

Oh excuse me. 

So, just to be real, I would not be there for my mom or step dad if they had a major surgery like this.  Because I don't care about them, and they don't care about me.  I suffered terrible abuse under their parental reign that I am still working on recovering from, and this is verbal, emotional, and physical abuse.  They provided what the law made them provide, that is it.  I could give fuck-all if they had a big surgery or procedure and I wouldn't even send a text message.  I will dance on my fucking stepdad's grave when he dies, and I don't feel bad about that one bit. 

Now that that is out of the way.

Miles' mother is probably why I delayed breaking up with Miles for so long.  I cared about her so much, she was the mom I wish I had, and Miles has no idea how fucking lucky he is and he squanders that relationship.  I would tell him constantly when we were together to watch his fucking tone when he spoke with her.  Their relationship turned on its head when I was involved with him, because I wouldn't let him talk like a fucking asshole to his mother or father, like he was doing, I pointed out his narrow point of view . 

It's easy for me to say that she is an amazing, intelligent, and caring woman because I'm an outsider looking in, and I didn't grow up with her as a mom.  I understand that, but from what Miles tells me, their childhood seems very typical.  Anyway, not the point. 

"Don't you think it's weird that she is having major surgery and not one of her kids is there?"
M: "Well, she'll have home health care when she gets released"
"So what, she'll have help for 5 hours a week? Big deal. Wouldn't you want to be there to help her? Is this something that you have just never heard of?"
M: "Well, sure, if they paid for me to go out there, I would go.  We're all just kinda aloof with this sort of thing"

Okay, say that you all are selfish and think that you are independent, when really your mom stills cuts you guys checks for things like an Uber to get from the airport to the house, yet no one is there for her?  Why don't you talk about how your mom bought you a new car when yours was stolen, and you finance it through the Bank of Parents when you were a 35 year old fucking man.  Like, I am in disbelief.  I am horrified. 

M: "Well, I was glad that when I moved back in 2018 because I could help my mom when she had breast cancer"

Bullshit dude.  I asked him how he helped and he said he drove her to her appointments "a couple of times".  By the time he moved back, she was pretty much done with radiation.  He didn't do shit.  And for real, after I met his siblings and their partners, I knew that if Miles and I stayed together and got married, we would likely be the ones who helped his parents out with stuff, and I accepted that because I really liked spending time with them anyway.  And I'm codependent, so focusing on helping others rather than helping myself is like, my thing. 

My thing that lets me ignore my own needs/problems, and put them in a box, and put them high up on a shelf where I don't have to deal with them.  :/

But anyway.  Lesson learned, but I get reminders on how great a decision that was, although these reminders come all too frequently.