First Date #53

It happened. 

Not for lack of trying previously, but you would be amazed (those of you in relationships for years now), just how long it takes to find someone that has some type of substance, can write an email that isn't like a text, and that says they want to meet up.  Maybe it's me.  Maybe it's Texas.  I feel like I had more prospects in San Diego, taller ones too.

I've been considering not writing about my dating life, only because it seems like it could be taken as a joke.  Like, oh ha-ha this is just something Danielle does, whatever, whatever, it's not like she takes it seriously.  At the same time, I don't think that I've ever really joked much about my dating life (other than it being hilariously difficult), so I don't think that would really be an issue.

Anyway, this was an OkCupid date.  What I've noticed from men is that they don't put the most current pictures up, but pictures from 10+ years ago, then a few current selfies, and sometimes it's hard to gage.  Typically I do not swipe right on people like that.  I took the time to put up recent pictures, included full bodies, and makeup free (which I never wore a lot of to begin with).

Looking at his photos, he seemed cute, but couldn't tell the most recent. His profile had substance.  I swiped right and we "matched", I moved on.  He messaged me and we exchanged a few emails before we settled on a day/time/place.  Which I then canceled because I forgot my friend was coming into town that weekend, so he suggested another day/place/time and I said yes. 

The place was a small hidden brewery, he was a few minutes late.  53 was handsome, and an observation that my friend made when I showed her his profile was "he looks like your ex".  I did notice that, there was a slight resemblance, especially because they both had thin frames, but in person, he was quite different looking and in the way he composed himself. 

Our conversation went really well, he did ask what brought me out to San Antonio and I told him the reason, but looking back I think I talked a little too much about that.  I feel like, very judged for moving for a man, but really I think the only person that is judging me is myself.  Besides, would I really judge myself the same way if my relationship turned out positive and we were engaged or married at this point? I doubt it.

I digress, at one point he ordered another beer, I barely drank a 1/2 pint, drinking is not something I really like doing, or enjoy doing anymore, and I'm a light weight--I also prefer wine if I am going to drink anything, but this was a brewery.  At the bar, he struck up a conversation with a guy that was pretty buzzed, somehow my date ended up telling the other bar patrons, "this is our first date", and they all raised their glasses and cheered, while my face got beet red. 

We went back to our little table and talked some more, but I made a decision.  This is not someone I could build a life with, and that's really what I'm looking for.  He really doesn't have his shit together, and his lifestyle is more like he is in his 20's instead of 30's, and he isn't financially stable.  Let it be clear, I'm not looking for a sugar daddy, but I'm looking for someone that has their fucking shit together and is "a grown up".  Yes, I could start a ho-tation, sure, but I am picky on the guys I will casually sleep with (which, I should be pickier about the guys I date, but okay), like could you afford to pay for an abortion? Because in Texas, that's a feat, I'm not sure this guy could.  I told him I was getting tired and we left shortly after that.

He walked me to my car, we hugged, and he told me to keep in touch and hopes I get my voice back soon (I was sick earlier in the week and lost my voice, it's still on the fritz). 

I unmatched him this morning, but his number is still in my phone.  Perhaps as a friend or something, but certainly no romantic interest there.  On to the next one.