I had been talking to this guy for about a week and a half by the time we had our date. He was quick to ask me out, only after a couple days of talking on the app, he asked me out for the following Saturday and I agreed. We found a place in San Marcos, so midway between us, to have brunch called The Root Cellar. I had seen the place when I went out with Steve (when we were looking at restaurants), but I prefer dive-y breakfast cafes over more upscale brunch places personally. I want to walk into a breakfast diner that smells like coffee, maple syrup, bacon, and a slight note of cigarettes, with old waitresses that call you "hun", and the coffee is endless and piping hot. You get the idea. Ah, childhood nostalgia when people used to smoke in restaurants (don't get me wrong, glad that's not a thing anymore. Growing up in the 80's was wild).
However, I had already gone to the dive-y place twice now, and decided why not try a new place. I don't want the waitress to be like "oh, back again, who's this" or something. I doubt they would, but eh.
I told him straight up that I date traditionally and I don't pursue men, he texted me everyday, he asked for phone calls. I wasn't sure about this guy, he was very much like "I don't like games and all that, just tell me how things are, tell me what you're feeling, I don't get scared off", um what. I felt like that was too much for not even meeting yet. I'm not fake when I answer questions, but I'm not going into depth about things you know what I mean? I just met you bro, jeez.
On this particular Saturday, I had a breakfast date with this guy, and then Steve was coming down in the evening and we were going to watch a movie, and he wanted to take me to breakfast on Sunday. I love a multiple date day, I feel like such a player.
The problem was that I still needed to complete my deep clean on the house, and while I was running on time, the 35 was closed. Like I'm in New Braunfels and just shut down. I have no idea what the issue was, but what the fuck. How very Texas to just close the freeway. The guy asked me to call him on my drive, so I did and told him that I was going to be very late, and he was like "well, okay, I won't get mad, but you can't get mad at me"
moi: "mad about what?"
guy: "well, I forgot do to laundry, so I'm not exactly dressed up"
Moi: "what do you mean you forgot to do laundry? Don't tell me you're wearing like basketball shorts or something?"
guy: "I mean, yeah kind of, but you're going to be an hour late, so it evens out"
So, I was an hour late, and dude was wearing like sweat pant basketball type shorts and a black t-shirt with Christmas chewbacca on it. I was wearing my same date outfit that I wore when Steve took me to Guenther House. My hair was curled, makeup done, perfume on. It was such a turn off.
Conversation was fine, but I was annoyed about the traffic I was in, so I was a bit on edge, but also, the Root Cellar is an actual old root cellar, so it was 3/4 underground, and so LOUD. People there were so loud that I couldn't really hear the guy, and I don't like talking really loud while I'm on dates or in public anyway. But the noise was overwhelming, sensory speaking. He noticed that I was affected by the noise and made a comment on it, but didn't seem to hold it against me.
He paid when the bill came and I asked if he wanted to look in the record store next door. I was currently in the texting stage with another guy that I was really interested in, and he collects records, but also the logo for the place was a mermaid with a record bikini top, so I had to check it out. Didn't find my white whale records, but it was a cute store. The guy offered to walk me to my car, but I declined, as I had to park really far away and we were on opposite sides. I thanked him for breakfast, and said I would chat with him later and we parted ways.
This is probably the only time I've felt bad about having a man pay because I knew after he told me that he didn't do laundry for a date he knew about for a week that I wasn't going to accept a second date with this dude. Also, and I preface this with not caring much if a guy is a bigger size, but he was probably about 50-60 pounds heavier in person than what was in photos. I'm very much like "just be honest dude" and lying about that is a dealbreaker/red flag for me. Considering that men will be outwardly rude to women who misrepresent themselves, I think I give grace to men because quite often they do not look like their photos. Sometimes you can tell on the app immediately, but not always. I update my photos like every month, I don't use filters, I'm not trying to trick anyone.
On my drive home I was sending my friend a voice memo, and he called me. I didn't answer in time, as he only had my Google Voice number and you have to accept the call on your phone, and by the time I had accepted, he hung up. I called him back and asked what was up and he said something like:
Hey, I just wanted to check on you, I'm in traffic and honestly, I got the vibe that you weren't super into me, and maybe you were just being nice to my face, and I really just want to know. Like, I'd rather you tell me and be upfront with me about it.
What?
I told him that I haven't really processed our date, but I had a good time, loud place aside. And YEAH DUDE, I was saving face, like I'm going to reject someone on a street corner, a MAN no less?!? Do men not understand how dangerous it is for women to tell a man they are not into them in person? I don't understand.
I told him that I was hitting traffic and I would reach out when I got home and ended the call. When I got home I just sent him a text stating that I had fun, but we are not aligned for a long term match and I wished him the best of luck then blocked and unmatched him.
I should have just flaked on the date, turned around when he said he was in an outfit he probably slept in, or ghosted him mid week beforehand, saved both of us some time I think. Oh well, you live and you learn.
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