A Second Date at Guenther House

Just a few days after the John incident, I had another breakfast date scheduled with Steve (gun show guy for those following nicknames). I had been ruminating during the week and complaining to my friends about the ending of things with John, but you just move on, move forward, keep swimming, life's a garden so dig it, or whatever Matthew McConaughey says. 

Steve offered to drive down to San Antonio to take me out. We discussed options and decided breakfast at the Guenther House and walking around King William to look at all the southern style mansions, which neighborhood wandering, especially in a historic neighborhood is one of my favorite things to do. 

I wore a new button up cotton gauze shirt from Gap, and found jeggings that fit me well, they are a little loose in the waist, but they at least look fitted due to the lycra or whatever in them. The outfit looked great and the laurel wreath green color of the shirt is my new favorite color on me. I have been trying to figure out my color season, and I always thought I was a warm autumn, but apparently I'm a warm spring, so although I am not re-building my wardrobe quite yet, the small pieces I am buying here and there I try to get in that palette. 

Steve and I had talked on the phone earlier that week and he asked if we could start talking more and if it was okay that he texted me more as well. I agreed to both. I think we spoke 3 times that week leading up to our date, which is a lot for us, and considering John has been my focus, it has been hard to keep interest in Steve. Let me just say that rosters are not for the weak. You really have to be organized with these guys to remember what you said to whom, and there is always someone in the #1 spot and others can get neglected. However, I feel like that neglect makes men pursue harder. 

I asked Steve if he wanted to pick me up to go to the date, and he agreed. I usually do not allow this, but there is just something different with him. I don't know, I feel very secure with him. He has shown consistency over the last month and a half of talking/dating, it's different than just feeling safe. There is no better word to describe it other than secure. 

He came in for a moment and we hugged. I could tell he wanted to go in for a kiss, but dude, we haven't kissed yet, wait a minute. I showed him the first floor of my place, and then we headed out. He opened the truck door for me, I was a bit intimidated due to him driving a lifted Tundra, but it's not so bad to get in and out of. He mapped out the location and started driving, eventually holding out his hand for me to hold. He asked about my wrist tattoo, and I told him the story, then he asked if I had more and said yes. I told him that I'm not sure I will get more, maybe just cat portraits, but I would also like a Secret of Nimh tattoo.

Holding hands with him is nice. It just feels so comfortable and easy being with him. Getting to the restaurant and him taking my hand, it's so easy. He knows how to lead. This was always an issue with Miles, he just couldn't hold my hand when walking, it was always a challenge for him and why??? I've never had such an issue with anyone else walking and holding my hand. That saying of "you weren't asking too much, you were just asking the wrong person" has never felt so true. 

We waited for a table under the veranda at another table, our seats were close, and I slanted my legs over so my knee was touching his thigh, which was an invitation for him to put his hand on my thigh, and it just felt good. Not in a sexy way, just a comforting touch, I don't know, it's just easy. It is so easy to be with him, it is easy for me to relax, not have to be on guard all the time. Holdings hands and walking feels so natural, I felt like such an imposter with Miles.

We had breakfast and good conversation, then took a walk around King William. We talked about the houses and just life in general. We came across a house that was squat compared to the others, it was like a modern cottage and I love it. I told him as much, that it was like a witch cottage for the city. 

Steve: all it needs is a cat in the window named Nicodemus

Moi: Nicodemus?

Steve: Yeah, I've always thought that was a cool name for a cat

Moi: It is a cool name for a cat, it's actually on my list of pet names, but it's also the leader of the rats from the Secret of Nimh, so I am kind of floored that you said Nicodemus

He squeezed my hand to stop my walking, I turned and he kissed me. In front of a modern witchy cottage on a street in the King William historic district. It was a sweet kiss, not too chaste, but right for the stage we were at. We continued walking and found a small grassy park and sat on a bench, my leg crossed to favor him, and he wrapped one arm behind my back, his other was holding my hand. We talked about a bunch of different things, but I was interested in what he was looking for. 

Steve hasn't been officially divorced for a full year, I am not sure what was the dissolution of his marriage, but they were together for 20 years. That's not something you are over in this short of time. I want a relationship that can lead to marriage, I am not sure why I didn't ask him when we were messaging, but at the same time, he didn't ask me out on a date until after he asked if I wanted to meet at the gun show, which I didn't consider a date. He asked me to breakfast like the Wednesday before the show, that was the date. 

"I know that you are recently divorced, and I went and looked at your profile again and it said you're interested in short term fun, and I know you mentioned you are going to therapy... I also never asked you what you are really looking for?"

Steve: yeah, I still occasionally feel grief over the loss of my marriage, but I'm able to navigate and get through it. For now, I am looking to date casually and explore, figure out things I like and just take my time. I am not trying to rush into anything, I am not sure I am ready for commitment so soon.

Moi: Yeah, grief is a wave. I took a year off dating after things ended with my ex, but I understand what you are saying. I am not trying to rush into anything, and I do date slowly and am casually dating right now, but I am looking for something serious. When I say casually date, I mean that I date multiple men at the same time, but I am not sleeping with them. 

Steve: Understandable. I just want to take things slow.

And that's all I really remember from that conversation. At that point a guy that was talking to himself walked by us to sit in a gazebo in the park, and pulled out a pipe and I said "is that like a meth pipe?" and Steve said we should go. He led me away, back through the neighborhood, and towards his truck. "I don't want to startle you, but I am armed, so just in case you were worried about that guy". I was surprised because we hugged a couple times and I hadn't felt it on him, he had said, well, that's the point of conceal carry. 

He opened the truck door for me, but before I could turn to get in, he took me by the waist and kissed me against the truck. I wrapped my arms around his neck and leaned into it. It was another good kiss, firm enough for my liking, and also easy, explorative. 

We went back to my house, talked more about relationships in general, I asked if he was interested in poly due to mentioning it on his profile and he said no, but that he is also okay with exploring things for now, but doesn't think it's for him. I told him it's not for me at all. I honestly do not believe it's a viable thing, or really healthy long term, but that is my opinion. I don't care what other people do, just leave me out of it. Everyone can have an opinion, and it doesn't make it true about your situation. 

When we got back to my house we talked more about I don't even remember, and surprisingly Miso came downstairs and immediately took to him. Miso is my shyest cat, and doesn't usually come around when visitors are over, he stays in his bed which is under my bed. However, he was trying to schooch into his lap and was showing the belly, purring, everything. Oh fuck, am I going to fall in love with this guy? I feel like this is a sign that he is good person off the bat, as if I didn't already have an inkling about that, but now my cat is in love with him??? Shit. 

We eventually started making out on my couch. It was good, he is very cuddly, and a bit intense. I have some suspicions about this that I will share in another post. I ended the make out session because while it was nice, I am not sure I was feeling it, especially since I was still sad about John, and also I was feeling a way that he is not looking for anything serious right now. I also wanted to relax for the rest of the day and do some shopping anyway. 

I walked him to the door and he said he would like to see me again, and that maybe we could go to a museum or something soon, and he would look at his calendar when he got home and we could plan something. I told him that I would like that and we exchanged a few more kisses before saying goodbye. 

So, I don't know, I'm a lovergirl for real. I want something that will be long term. At the same time, Steve is a good buffer. I have a nice time with him and am slowly getting to know him. I like the speed, I like that it's a good time with no demands. So, for now I am okay with dating casually.