First Date #55

I've been seriously asking myself how much longer I plan on writing here, perhaps ending it with number 55, that's a sound number right?  I recently downloaded Day One, which is a journaling app, and so far I am liking it, and might be saying sayonara to the ole' blog.

Especially because this date mentioned something about people being able to track you based on your writing style (for people that have things written on the internet).  Yikes.  My eyes kind of widened and I looked away and said "oh no".  As if he knew about all of this.  Muahaha, if he did, then he would know that I am probably not the ideal person to date, but looks like I've tricked another male!

Anyway, but for reals, went to a cafe near both of our houses, we live quite close to each other.  Conversation was good, we ended up being there for 2 hours, which is an hour longer than how I normally like my dates.  That's a good sign right?  I think I probably talked too much, and I'm not sure I'm really interested, to be frank.  It's hard to tell on first dates sometimes.  It's like the first bite, sometimes you hate it, sometimes you love it, sometimes you are not sure--you don't not like it, but you don't love it, you need a second bite to really figure it out. 

I know that my problem (one of them at least) is a lack of vulnerability, even though I certainly feel exposed and vulnerable most of the time.  I think that is me internalizing things, without letting the other person know.  They hold a percentage of my minds real estate, but I am not conveying that to them.  I am not showing myself as much as I "should" or maybe not as much as they expect, is a better way to phrase it.  I'm trying y'all. 

Okay, to sum it up, went on a date, had nice conversation, the guy is cool and attractive, but seems young, although he is my age.  We mentioned going out again, and he texted me that he really enjoyed meeting me and asked to do it again soon.  So, that's about it.  Not too interesting, and not too disappointing. 

Le sigh.  Continuously putting yourself out there is fucking tough, I am exhausted, which is probably why this post sounds so negative.  The experience wasn't negative at all, rest assured.