I don't know what first date this is, probably not worth counting. When I went back, I saw the last documented first date number was #56, but I've had a few more since then. Maybe one day I will go back and count correctly, but today is not that day.
So, breakfast date, an older guy, I believe he is 10 years older than me. I am not sure I am looking for the real deal with this guy, but from our conversations, we have an easy rapport, there is no racey feelings to move fast. He has told me he is very casual and easy going, but will pursue. I made this very clear in our conversations that I will not pursue, I will show interest, and I am always honest that. I told him that if I express to him that I would like to do this again, and he does not pursue a second date, I will assume he is not interested and move on.
We talked about pursuit and reciprocation as well, I told him that yes, of course I would reciprocate after a few dates, as in initiate a date, but I will not initiate anything until after at least 3 dates. Sorry, I have to gauge his interest. Anyway, this was all before the date.
Breakfast went well, the restaurant was loud, but our conversation was good. He would get along well with my aunts and uncle. He has an easy comfort about him which I like. I could not gauge his interest in me though. We did hug initially upon meeting and I will say, he gives great hugs. Very squeezy, which I did recently mention that I like.
So, the check came and he kind of dawdled about paying, which I thought was worth noting. I think he got on his watch calculator and the iPhone calculator before he paid. If he wanted me to split it with him, I would have, but I would note this guy as friend territory and move on. I know dating customs are different everywhere, but he asked me out. I am only interested in dating men that are investing in me, that means time and money. I don't mean "oh you need to buy me an Hermes bag" or "pay my rent", hell no, I am not like that. But if you want me to split a $30 breakfast bill, we have different values.
Money is the ultimate indicator. Like I said, I do not want thousands of dollars, I don't want fancy purses. But men will spend their money on what they think is valuable, and if he doesn't think its worth it to cover my meal, I will move on to the next man that does. Furthermore, if you cannot afford to date and cover meals, then don't date. He had plenty of opportunity to get to know me prior, and if he felt it wasn't worth it to go out, then don't ask me. Women are not a necessity, they are a luxury, it is a bonus to have a nice woman in your life to date or have a relationship with. In my life, men are not a necessity, it is a nice thing to have. And yes, I really want a relationship but it would be extra, like the al la mode to my slice of pie situation.
Anyways, he did end up paying, and then we chatted for another 10 or so minutes before the place got really loud and I suggested we leave. He walked with me towards my car, as he was parked nearby. I thanked him for breakfast and told him that I would like to see him again, and he said he would like to see me again. We hugged, another great squeezy hug, and I got into my car and left.
He texted me later that he really enjoyed meeting me, and I reciprocated that sentiment. We texted a bit more throughout the day, as per usual. That was Tuesday. It is now Friday and he hasn't initiated a second date. He asked me what I was doing last night and I told him I was going out (I had another date) with a friend and then called him out about not asking me out again. He apologized then said "he was in the process of figuring out what to do". Dude. We can literally go and get a cup of tea, do I consider that a real date? No, but it would allow time together.
I think that he wants a less maintenance girl. And I do not feel high maintenance at all, but I need to see more than this. This is low effort. If you want a texting buddy, then find someone else, it's not for me.
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