Gun Show Guy

Oh don't worry, he's still on the roster. 

And yes, I am keeping a roster. I am dating casually, not sleeping with all these men. I have only slept with Adam, and he is the only person I've had sex with in the last almost 3 years. 

Gun Show Guy, Steve, is a very kind person, and just a total dad. A good dad at that from what he's told me, and how he acts. He knows that I think texting to get to know me is lazy, so he only texts me to check in and plan phone calls. He is consistent. I don't go two days in a row without hearing from him, even if it's a quick hello, how're you? I really enjoy the consistency, it's what I need in a relationship.  

We started with talking on the phone once a week, and he asked if he could increase our communication to another call, I said yes. On the phone we just talk about our day, interests, work, simple things. Nothing too serious, nothing too deep, just getting to know each other slowly. I haven't asked him what he is looking for because he is dating me. Like, really dating me. Learning about my interests, making me laugh. He is complimentary, he remembers things I tell him and brings it up later. He asks about my cats. 

Admittedly, his nice/kind demeanor gave me the ick. I know, I know. I am annoyed with myself. How fucked up am I that a kind man is giving me the ick. Because I am not made to chase him. He is not playing hot and cold with me, there is no uncertainty that churns my anxiety and makes things "exciting". I need a guy that gives me "the ick", it's not the ick, its calm, still, secure. 

Steve is chasing me. I rarely if ever initiate texting him. He plans the phone calls (in advance), he's planned a future date, I gave a few suggestions on places here and gave him my availability, he's planning the rest. 

I'll admit, he is sweet, and a bit corny, but he is observant, chivalrous, and a provider. The kicker is that he is recently divorced, like "officially" 6 months divorced, after being separated for almost a year now. After being with his ex-wife for 20 years. I am looking for something serious, I couldn't imagine that he is. However, he is pursuing me. Do men really do rebounds? I feel like it's just replacements. He told me that he has been in therapy since the marriage ended and he is a recovering people pleaser, so he's been doing things that he's always wanted to do, like exploring his "nerdy" side. 

I'm not really sure where I'm going with him. I like him, but like I said, he is unlike the guys I normally have dated, so it's a slow burn for real. I do not prioritize him because I've been involved more with John recently, but I still make time for Steve, and engage while messaging or talking. So, while his actions are saying he is interested and cool with taking things slow, well, his words haven't said anything to suggest otherwise either. 

So, yeah, in conclusion, we are still dating.