The Mind Killer Pt 2

My bed is really not for sex, it's for the most comfy sleep you'll ever have. It's firm and soft at the same time. I have an adjustable base, soft linens, I've spent a good amount of money for it to be heavenly. I have never had sex in this bed. Until this night. 

So that answers that. 

Steve and I got into bed and really started kissing. Tops came off and being skin to skin was so nice, he is so warm. I usually run hot, but he is much warmer than me. I love the feel of a man on top of me, while I can please myself better than a man has pleased me, the weight of a man on you is not replicable, unfortunately. 

What I really like and appreciate about Steve is that he remembers the things I tell him I like. I like to be touched softly, I'm very much a sensualist, he does that. I like when men talk to me during, not necessarily dirty talk, but yeah, dirty talk, communication, praise. I give in return, I'm big on communication while dating, in a relationship and in the bedroom. If a guy is not into this and isn't willing to try, it's a no go. I've had sex with the silent type and it's just not for me. 

Steve also remembers non-sexual things I like and incorporates them in conversation or makes plans around them (like plants and going to the botanical gardens). 

Things were getting hot and heavy, although I still had my underwear on and I stopped him. I wanted to have sex, but like then what? Would he ghost? I don't get that vibe from him. 

"I don't mean to sound lame, but if we continue and have sex, are we still going to date? Because if you are going to just ghost, you have to commit to it."

Steve: "I think that ghosting is a terrible thing to do, and yeah, if we had sex tonight, I would still want to date you, I like spending time with you and talking to you"

Moi: "I'm not a super casual gal, and once sex is introduced, I do get attached. I like your consistency, and that would need to continue if we moved to this next step, although this week you were not very consistent"

Steve: "I understand, and yes, I'm sorry, I got caught up with work and I know I wasn't as consistent as I should have been and I will do better"

Moi: "I mean, I know hormones are raging, so I hope this isn't just all talk because of that, but I would like our conversations to have more substance, and get to know each other better, if you are open to that"

Steve: "well, admittedly, I'm very amenable because hormones are raging, but yes, I would also like that"

We discussed other things, but I don't remember everything because then we started talking about sex and he told me that he has a thick cock, and at that point I needed to have it. Look, I'm easily swayed and I am a bit of a size queen, not like HUGE, but like oh it's girthy? Perfect, give it to me. I should really just be out here fucking more, but really, the stats don't fall in my favor enough for that. 

But he does, it is thick, and it's great, fantastic. Also, that stamina for a 45 year old, okaaay! The sex was okay. It was a bit on the aggressive side for me for the first time, but it's the first time, we are learning each other. And of course he would lighten his touch or whatever if I gave direction. And, like yeah, I came, it was fine. It wasn't mind blowing, I'm not like day dreaming about it like I have with Adam, like I still think about that fuck to this day. I think it will get better the more we learn about each others likes. 

The after of cuddling and kissing, and getting ready for bed was elite though. I really enjoy just being with him. We talked in bed and fell asleep holding hands because we are so corny, but I like it. I mean, I took my hand back because I sleep like I'm in a coffin most of the time. Unfortunately Steve snores, but I found my earplugs. Still, I had trouble sleeping, I generally sleep in the middle of my bed, and the cats are in a triangle formation in the corners. They did not like this change. Porkchop just slept on his feet, not caring at all, Nova and Miso tried to sleep on my chest, and I had to push them off the bed. 

Steve woke me in the morning by cuddling up to me and initiating sex, which I was receptive to, but I had my mouth guard in still and was like "oh you find this hot?" and we had a good laugh when I tried to bite his ear. If I can't laugh in bed with a dude, just get out, honestly. 

We got ready and he drove us to The Original Donut and Taco Shop, which is a San Antonio ESTABLISHMENT okay! If you are ever in the area, you must go. It's exactly what I said, donuts and tacos, and it's amazing. It had rained and was still raining heavily. We arrived before they opened at 6am, and waited in his truck, he gave me his slicker to hide under as we ran under the overhang. 

We had breakfast and then he drove me back home, the highway was pocketed with puddles and it was still heavily raining. I have a two car carport, but he just pulled up in front of it, as backing into the space is a tight fit with his truck. He got out to say goodbye and we hugged and kissed under my carport. He told me that he would look at his calendar when he got home to plan our next date and also set up a call for early in the week. I agreed to this plan of action, and he said he would wait for me to get in my house. 

And he did. I went inside and waved to him as he stood under the carport looking at me. Steve always has this smile and light in his eyes when he looks at me, this was no exception, but there was something else. This moment has stuck in my head, because more than looking at him when we had sex, or when we've kissed or anything else, the way he was looking at me in that moment, I felt happy, secure, cared for. Steve is 100% a golden retriever and I love that, that's the way he looks at me, it's that look of adoration. I think it's on my face as well, in fact, I think we make each other quite happy.